08-18-2018, 07:13 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-18-2018, 07:15 PM by GCG. Edited 1 time in total.)
My younger sister was killed last November. She was hit by a car while crossing a busy California street. At the time of her death she was living in an apartment in So Cal. She was 48 yrs old, single with no kids. My folks, (both 78 yrs), have been devastated by this. One of the constantly recurring questions they ask themselves is WHY??? It just seems so random and arbitrary... no good explanation. The driver that hit her was not impaired... not speeding.... by all accounts it was my sister's fault.
So now the dilemma. When the accident happened, my brother and I flew straight down to LA. I told my brother that we needed to go through our sister's place before our folks did. We both knew that there was a possibility of there being things there that would upset them. What we found was unsettling. We vowed to never tell anyone. However, parts of what we found would show the distinct possibility that she was impaired, (drugs), and that she had a problem. I know that this would be a huge blow to my folks because I saw the reaction of my mom when she found some weed remnants lying around... this was before my brother and I scoured the place. What we found was much worse than weed.
The ONLY reason that I would have for telling our folks was if I thought it would finally give them an explanantion for WHY. But I can't decide if they are better off not knowing. They were supporting her at the time of her death and they could possibly blame themselves... sort of enabling without knowing it. My gut tells me that my sister's secrets should go with me to my grave. My brother feels the same. But as a parent, I'd want to know.
Thoughts?
So now the dilemma. When the accident happened, my brother and I flew straight down to LA. I told my brother that we needed to go through our sister's place before our folks did. We both knew that there was a possibility of there being things there that would upset them. What we found was unsettling. We vowed to never tell anyone. However, parts of what we found would show the distinct possibility that she was impaired, (drugs), and that she had a problem. I know that this would be a huge blow to my folks because I saw the reaction of my mom when she found some weed remnants lying around... this was before my brother and I scoured the place. What we found was much worse than weed.
The ONLY reason that I would have for telling our folks was if I thought it would finally give them an explanantion for WHY. But I can't decide if they are better off not knowing. They were supporting her at the time of her death and they could possibly blame themselves... sort of enabling without knowing it. My gut tells me that my sister's secrets should go with me to my grave. My brother feels the same. But as a parent, I'd want to know.
Thoughts?