The NRA Finds a Solution!
#1
THE NEW YORKERONLINE ONLY
THE BOROWITZ REPORT
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JULY 22, 2012
N.R.A. PROPOSES SWEEPING BAN ON MOVIES
Posted by Andy Borowitz


FAIRFAX, Va. (The Borowitz Report)—Saying it was “high time to take action against the number one cause of violence in America,” the National Rifle Association issued a statement today urging a sweeping ban on movies.

Tracy Klugian, an official spokesperson for the gun-lobbying organization, said that the N.R.A. had taken this extraordinary step because it “could not stand idly by and watch movies tear apart the fabric of our civil society.”

To that end, Mr. Klugian said, the N.R.A. would use money from itsPAC, the N.R.A. Political Victory Fund, to support politicians who favored a ban on filmed entertainment.

In the hours after the N.R.A.’s announcement, politicians on both sides of the aisle were quick to applaud the group for identifying what it called “a long overdue need for movie control.”

“It is time for us to stop the madness,” said Speaker of the House John Boehner. “As a first step, I am proposing legislation that would impose a two-year waiting period and background check before one is allowed to see a Hollywood release.”

Minutes later, the White House said that the Speaker’s proposal was “a good first step, but does not go far enough,” arguing that Congress had to “take a hard look at whether superhero costumes and masks should continue to be legal.”

All in all, the N.R.A.’s Klugian said he was “cautiously optimistic” that the organization’s call for new legislation would be heeded “because our message finally seems to be getting through: Guns don’t kill people. Movies kill people.
Laughing
YUp, that's it, folks. Movies kill people. We need to have a two-year waiting period before anyone can go see a movie. Priceless. Cool
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#2
(07-24-2012, 08:39 AM)TennisMom Wrote: YUp, that's it, folks. Movies kill people. We need to have a two-year waiting period before anyone can go see a movie. Priceless. Cool

Great analogy!
This is just as logical as saying "GUNS kill people.".
See how illogical your logic is???
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#3
My son is a great baseball player because he's watched the movie "Sandlot".

Does it mean the world would be more intelligent if we got rid of the Borowitz Report? Because reading that blog OBVIOUSLY makes your IQ go down.
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#4
Whatsa matter, BeerMe, don't you appreciate satire? Eyebrows
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#5
I don't find anything funny about what happened in Colorado. I'm glad Borowitz was able to use that tragedy to get his paycheck from the Times this week though.
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#6
(07-24-2012, 10:07 AM)BeerMe Wrote: I don't find anything funny about what happened in Colorado. I'm glad Borowitz was able to use that tragedy to get his paycheck from the Times this week though.

Sanctimonious
Adjective: Making a show of being morally superior to other people.
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#7
(07-24-2012, 10:07 AM)BeerMe Wrote: I don't find anything funny about what happened in Colorado. I'm glad Borowitz was able to use that tragedy to get his paycheck from the Times this week though.

What a prig you are. Borowitz was making a very important point.

The NRA is a lobbying group that makes it money on death and like the tobacco lobby use the most inane excuses to promote their products; ''banning the theatre's'' or ''cigarettes are not harmful to you health''.

And I don't trust anyone carrying a gun on their person; ever.
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#8
(07-24-2012, 10:53 AM)Clone Wrote:
(07-24-2012, 10:07 AM)BeerMe Wrote: I don't find anything funny about what happened in Colorado. I'm glad Borowitz was able to use that tragedy to get his paycheck from the Times this week though.

Sanctimonious
Adjective: Making a show of being morally superior to other people.

I post about a blogger and you come out calling me names. OK.
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#9
(07-24-2012, 11:07 AM)Leonard Wrote:
(07-24-2012, 10:07 AM)BeerMe Wrote: I don't find anything funny about what happened in Colorado. I'm glad Borowitz was able to use that tragedy to get his paycheck from the Times this week though.

What a prig you are. Borowitz was making a very important point.

The NRA is a lobbying group that makes it money on death and like the tobacco lobby use the most inane excuses to promote their products; ''banning the theatre's'' or ''cigarettes are not harmful to you health''.

And I don't trust anyone carrying a gun on their person; ever.

Again, name calling. Awesome.

Regarding the NRA, which I don't belong to and don't agree with the automatic weapons stance they have, hardly make money on death. They lobby, as far as I know, to keep our nations gun rights. I'm pretty sure that killings like these don't make the NRA money. I would be interested to hear HOW the NRA made money off of this tragedy.

And, anyone that believes "Cigarettes are not harmful to your health" is a fool.
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#10
Oh no! He called you a prig!  Laughing
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#11
(07-24-2012, 11:16 AM)PonderThis Wrote: Oh no! He called you a prig!  Laughing

I had to look that up!Embarrassed
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#12
If there's anything I hate it's intelligent posters with big vocabularies. Smiling
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#13
Quote: Leonard'

And I don't trust anyone carrying a gun on their person; ever.

Sorry about your problem Osama. Get some psychiatric help, you need it with that kind of paranoia.
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#14
(07-24-2012, 11:18 AM)BeerMe Wrote:
(07-24-2012, 11:16 AM)PonderThis Wrote: Oh no! He called you a prig!  Laughing

I had to look that up!Embarrassed

Perhaps looking up an unfamiliar word before commenting might prevent a multitude of misunderstandings.

That is a problem with conversations today, too much texting, shorthand and stupid fucking faces that are leaving people with the inability to paint a picture with words or see the pictures written.
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#15
(07-24-2012, 11:27 AM)Leonard Wrote:
(07-24-2012, 11:18 AM)BeerMe Wrote:
(07-24-2012, 11:16 AM)PonderThis Wrote: Oh no! He called you a prig!  Laughing

I had to look that up!Embarrassed

Perhaps looking up an unfamiliar word before commenting might prevent a multitude of misunderstandings.

That is a problem with conversations today, too much texting, shorthand and stupid fucking faces that are leaving people with the inability to paint a picture with words or see the pictures written.

Yeah, what up with those peeps anyway?
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#16
(07-24-2012, 11:27 AM)Leonard Wrote:
(07-24-2012, 11:18 AM)BeerMe Wrote:
(07-24-2012, 11:16 AM)PonderThis Wrote: Oh no! He called you a prig!  Laughing

I had to look that up!Embarrassed

Perhaps looking up an unfamiliar word before commenting might prevent a multitude of misunderstandings.

That is a problem with conversations today, too much texting, shorthand and stupid fucking faces that are leaving people with the inability to paint a picture with words or see the pictures written.

Old guys have always said that about "today"Laughing If you were really trying to "paint a picture" and not impress people you wouldn't have used a word you just learned from some crossword puzzle.
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#17
(07-24-2012, 11:27 AM)Leonard Wrote:
(07-24-2012, 11:18 AM)BeerMe Wrote:
(07-24-2012, 11:16 AM)PonderThis Wrote: Oh no! He called you a prig!  Laughing

I had to look that up!Embarrassed

Perhaps looking up an unfamiliar word before commenting might prevent a multitude of misunderstandings.

That is a problem with conversations today, too much texting, shorthand and stupid fucking faces that are leaving people with the inability to paint a picture with words or see the pictures written.

I did look up the word before responding. Another PART of the problem is that there is a topic of this thread and it isn't the person behind EITHER keyboard.

Regarding the stupid faces, I've used them twice today and that is two times more than I've used them in the past month (I think).
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#18
(07-24-2012, 10:53 AM)Clone Wrote:
(07-24-2012, 10:07 AM)BeerMe Wrote: I don't find anything funny about what happened in Colorado. I'm glad Borowitz was able to use that tragedy to get his paycheck from the Times this week though.

Sanctimonious
Adjective: Making a show of being morally superior to other people. (See "PonderThis")

I added to your definition so we could fully understand it.Wink
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#19
(07-24-2012, 11:07 AM)Leonard Wrote:
(07-24-2012, 10:07 AM)BeerMe Wrote: I don't find anything funny about what happened in Colorado. I'm glad Borowitz was able to use that tragedy to get his paycheck from the Times this week though.

What a prig you are. Borowitz was making a very important point.

The NRA is a lobbying group that makes it money on death and like the tobacco lobby use the most inane excuses to promote their products; ''banning the theatre's'' or ''cigarettes are not harmful to you health''.

And I don't trust anyone carrying a gun on their person; ever.

Such an unreasonable fear is a "phobia", and that is a mental disorder.
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#20
Gun violence kills thousands per year and that's an unreasonable fear to you.

Dying from a cougar attack or by lightning strike, those might be more unreasonable fears, as they so rarely happen. I think it's entirely reasonable to fear deranged people with guns.
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