Time For a New Joke Thread
#41
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMwhl4IrPNc
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#42
Larry Wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMwhl4IrPNc
Nooooooooo!!!!!!!
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#43
broadzilla Wrote:
Larry Wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMwhl4IrPNc
Nooooooooo!!!!!!!
Try this one!!! Jimmy "Neil Young" Fallon's version!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2WfUzNY ... re=related
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#44
Larry Wrote:
broadzilla Wrote:
Larry Wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMwhl4IrPNc
Nooooooooo!!!!!!!
Try this one!!! Jimmy "Neil Young" Fallon's version!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2WfUzNY ... re=related
Ugh!
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#45
Iowa Pimp Mobile.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/iowahawk_blog/4296379682
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#46
Larry Wrote:Iowa Pimp Mobile.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/iowahawk_blog/4296379682
OMG! Is that a Cutlass??? I'm dying here...my ex loves Cutlass's and I could see him doing that...ROFLMAO!!!!
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#47
Larry Wrote:Iowa Pimp Mobile.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/iowahawk_blog/4296379682

Dats PHAT homey.
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#48
broadzilla Wrote:
Larry Wrote:Iowa Pimp Mobile.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/iowahawk_blog/4296379682
OMG! Is that a Cutlass??? I'm dying here...my ex loves Cutlass's and I could see him doing that...ROFLMAO!!!!
I think it's a Monte Carlo....
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#49
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uY1yszeePz8

Kinda long..... and a little political. The people we have entrusted with our future.
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#50
Larry Wrote:
broadzilla Wrote:
Larry Wrote:Iowa Pimp Mobile.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/iowahawk_blog/4296379682
OMG! Is that a Cutlass??? I'm dying here...my ex loves Cutlass's and I could see him doing that...ROFLMAO!!!!
I think it's a Monte Carlo....

Without seeing the front or back, they look real close to each other. BUT for some reason Cutlass was the preferred one.
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#51
Larry Wrote:
broadzilla Wrote:
Larry Wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMwhl4IrPNc
Nooooooooo!!!!!!!
Try this one!!! Jimmy "Neil Young" Fallon's version!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2WfUzNY ... re=related

This one.....

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkn0WqtVZSo[/youtube]
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#52
I hate watching videos on the computer! Dry

Sarah Pain 'Quotes'?

# I know all about Iran. I ran for Mayor and then I ran for Governor!
# I can't comment on the Kyoto Accord as I've only ever seen the Honda.
# My pregnant daughter is definitely going to marry the baby's father, John Edwards... I mean Levi Johnston
# I just saw a photo of Barack Obama. Is that what a black man looks like?
# I look forward to negotiating with the Shi'ites, as I haven't had a good one all week.
# I wouldn't want to go over to Kabul. I'm perfectly happy with my DirectTV.
# I think that the drop in the price of stock is a good thing, as now people will be able to make their soups cheaper.
# I've got a four month old, I'm about to be a grandmother, and I have to change McCain's diapers too?
# Alaskan oil can end shipments of petroleum from the Middle East. Next we need to end their shipments of convenience store managers.
# I put a $150 bounty on every wolf shot from a helicopter. How much do I have to offer for Obama?
# I've been a fan of John McCain for years, even since before Kelly replaced Kathie Lee on his show.
# When the reporter asked me about Iraq, I thought he was eyeing my rack.
# I know how to deal with Hamas. With a side of eggs.
# I told John McCain I don't know how to deal with the nasty rumors about me on the internet! John replied "what's the internet?"
# I know all about Russia. I tried to get my brother in law to play their Roulette.
# When I started with Yahoo Mail I thought it was a guy who liked to party!
# I learned about international relations from Todd. He's got Russian hands and Roman fingers.
# I told John McCain that the best way to deal with Hugo Chavez is to play Bingo with Venezuela: B1, B2, B52...
# EU? That's what I say whenever Trig pukes up.
# I warned Obama not to mess with me or I'll get my brother in law to Taser him.
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#53
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES (That Really Work!)


1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you slice.

2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins.. Remember to use a timer.

4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.

6. You only need two tools in life - wd-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the wd-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
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#54
History's top 10 times for appropriate use of the F-word


10th - "Scattered f***ing showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC

9th - "How the f*** did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC

8th - "You want WHAT on the f***ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566

7th - "Where did all those f***ing Indians come from?" - Custer, 1877

6th - "It does so f***ing look like her!" - Picasso, 1926

5th - "Where the f*** are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937

4th - "Any f***ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938

3rd - "What the f*** was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945

2nd - "I need this parade like I need a f***ing hole in the head!" - JFK, 1963


And ... drum roll .........

The number 1 most appropriate time for using the "F" word....

"Aw c'mon. Who the f*** is going to find out?" - Tiger Woods, 2009

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#55
I was in the coffee bar yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart.
The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better.
I finished my coffee and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
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#56
Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white U.S. government official, 'You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done.'

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, 'Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?'

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied, 'When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.'

Then the chief leaned back and smiled, 'Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.'
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#57
You're An EXTREME Redneck When.....

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying 'Hey, guys, watch this'.

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines'.

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15 You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
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#58
Hate to admit it but I actually am familiar with #13. When we lived in Vegas, we moved into a brand new house. Our refrigerator was so old and ugly, I wouldn't let DH put it in the kitchen because I figured that would be a way to get a new frig. We had to go out to the garage for cold stuff for about a year before we could afford a new frig. Laughing Laughing
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#59
I have to go outside to our second fridge or the freezer plus the washer and dryer Big Grin
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#60
tvguy Wrote:I have to go outside to our second fridge or the freezer plus the washer and dryer Big Grin
You mean you built a house without an indoor laundry room? How barbarian Big Grin
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