Chuck's Question Corner

[bbqboy]

A new feature where we pester Chuck with pseudo-scientific questions...

Dear Chuck,
My roommate insists on turning off the modem at night because he claims he sleeps better with the Electromagnetic waves not bombarding him.
I tell him there are bigger problems in the world, and besides I have to reboot this stupid Dell laptop everytime I lose the wireless connection.
Is there any truth to this? Are they radiating him?
Do modems cause cancer? Can they cure cancer?
Anxiously awaiting your Answer,
BBQ in The Rogue Valley

[PonderThis]

Dear Chuck;

It is becoming too tiring having to deal with this gravity all of the time, every motion becomes sooo difficult. I would like to purchase a gravity shield to save me from this effort, I envision something perhaps like a giant anniversary clock glass dome equipped with mechanic's creeper rollers, but perhaps you know something better than this. Where can I make such a purchase???
Ponder in the Woods.

[chuck white]

Well, that a complicated issue.
When your up in the Gigahertz range of the spectrum, your in the realm of molecular resonance.
Microwave Ovens work by being near the resonate frequency of the water molecule. (slightly off center, so it doesn't all absorb at the surface and penetrates deeper). If you subject any molecule, including DNA, to the right frequency, it will vibrate and heat up.
But remember the number of frequency between 1 GHz and 2 Ghz is equal to every thing from 1 Hz to 1 GHz. which is where all the standard communications have been, FM, AM, Cb, Police Band, Television (UHF and VHF), short wave, air traffic.....etc.

And there is that many again between 2 and 3 GHz....


So it is possible that a brain cell and DNA can respond to a particular resonate frequency, but the chance of hitting that frequency out of the billions would be small. And the power levels from the wireless are to small to do much damage from heat.

The Russians on the other hand did some studies, (Back when they were communist and they had a different outlook on public safety then a capitalist base government) that showed DNA molecules would respond to certain frequency in a certain window of power. Too little power nothing would happen and too much power nothing would happen, but at just the right window of power Biological processes would occur. We tended to set safety levels above the window and below threshold levels that cause thermo damage from heating. (we ignored or didn't find the window effect)

Now does he have a cordless phone?
a cell phone?
Does he get cell phone coverage? (good luck getting them to shut you local cell tower at night)
Satellite dish

There is so much microwave radiation from everywhere and at so many frequencies.
The solution would be to line the bed room with tin foil ....

[chuck white]

Dear Chuck;

It is becoming too tiring having to deal with this gravity all of the time, every motion becomes sooo difficult. I would like to purchase a gravity shield to save me from this effort, I envision something perhaps like a giant anniversary clock glass dome equipped with mechanic's creeper rollers, but perhaps you know something better than this. Where can I make such a purchase???
Ponder in the Woods.

You might counter gravity, by setting up an opposite field. Gravity from above so to speak.
A large mass placed above you would work. Not sure how you would support it. Talk to an architect.

[oregon 67]

Dear Chuck,

I would like to know if there is any evidence that aliens have ever visited or abducted any one in Josephine County?

[PonderThis]

Dear Chuck;

It is becoming too tiring having to deal with this gravity all of the time, every motion becomes sooo difficult. I would like to purchase a gravity shield to save me from this effort, I envision something perhaps like a giant anniversary clock glass dome equipped with mechanic's creeper rollers, but perhaps you know something better than this. Where can I make such a purchase???
Ponder in the Woods.

You might counter gravity, by setting up an opposite field. Gravity from above so to speak.
A large mass placed above you would work. Not sure how you would support it. Talk to an architect.

Thank you for identifying my problem. I don't know how I can ever repay you.

[chuck white]

Dear Chuck,

I would like to know if there is any evidence that aliens have ever visited or abducted any one in Josephine County?

Why? , Are you missing time? Is your back side sore?

[bbqboy]

Well, that a complicated issue.
When your up in the Gigahertz range of the spectrum, your in the realm of molecular resonance.
Microwave Ovens work by being near the resonate frequency of the water molecule. (slightly off center, so it doesn't all absorb at the surface and penetrates deeper). If you subject any molecule, including DNA, to the right frequency, it will vibrate and heat up.

So The secret to Bill Clinton's Penis is that it operates like a microwave oven, i.e.
slightly off center, vibrates, and penetrates deeper.
I wish i could fly like Superman.

[oregon 67]

Dear Chuck,

I would like to know if there is any evidence that aliens have ever visited or abducted any one in Josephine County?

Why? , Are you missing time? Is your back side sore?

Only when I drink to much.

We have had Bigfoot sightings, I was simply wondering if the Illinois Valley has had any alien sighting that you were aware of ?

[chuck white]

So The secret to Bill Clinton's Penis is that it operates like a microwave oven, i.e.
slightly off center, vibrates, and penetrates deeper.
I wish i could fly like Superman.

Flying like superman isn't the problem, it's landing like superman that's tricky.

[PonderThis]

I was simply wondering if the Illinois Valley has had any alien sighting that you were aware of ?

Well, there is Seligman...

[chuck white]

Dear Chuck,

I would like to know if there is any evidence that aliens have ever visited or abducted any one in Josephine County?

Why? , Are you missing time? Is your back side sore?

Only when I drink to much.

We have had Bigfoot sightings, I was simply wondering if the Illinois Valley has had any alien sighting that you were aware of ?

During the growing season, in the BLM lands.

[chuck white]

I was simply wondering if the Illinois Valley has had any alien sighting that you were aware of ?

Well, there is Seligman...

All data sets usually have a bad point or two, we just toss them out.

[oregon 67]

Dear Chuck,

I would like to know if there is any evidence that aliens have ever visited or abducted any one in Josephine County?

Why? , Are you missing time? Is your back side sore?

Only when I drink to much.

We have had Bigfoot sightings, I was simply wondering if the Illinois Valley has had any alien sighting that you were aware of ?

During the growing season, in the BLM lands.

Saucer not Chevy

[chuck white]

Well, generally we try not to be sighted.

[PonderThis]

Well, generally we try not to be sighted.

I imagine that's particularly difficult in the woods, too.

[bbqboy]

Dear Chuck,

I would like to know if there is any evidence that aliens have ever visited or abducted any one in Josephine County?

Why? , Are you missing time? Is your back side sore?

Only when I drink to much.

We have had Bigfoot sightings, I was simply wondering if the Illinois Valley has had any alien sighting that you were aware of ?

During the growing season, in the BLM lands.

Saucer not Chevy

may I steal that for my sig line, O67?

[tvguy]

Dear Chuck,

I would like to know if there is any evidence that aliens have ever visited or abducted any one in Josephine County?

Allow me. The answer is of course. The higher the population of rednecks the more likely you will be whisked out of your bed and teleported to a space craft in the middle of the night.
It's paramount for super intelligent and technically advanced extra terrestrials from light years away to look up rednecks asses.
You can always find the evidence if you talk to the right people.

[PonderThis]

That's not true, aliens prefer to breed with higher intelligence humans than rednecks.

[bbqboy]

They stick the gay aliens on the space probes. Ask Simon.